Magic isn't for Emma
by Menami
Summary: All Emma wanted was to know what it was like to be a woman...everywhere. Just one week was all she asked for, but as fate, and her lack of knowledge in magic would have it, things just don't go her way. Good thing Regina there to help Emma out of this mess. Well when she's not laughing. Contains G!P and genderswap (kind of)


**Well after the tragedy that was the mid season finale I figured why not add some nice and light hearted stuff? Though this fic will probably make just as much sense as the show at this point :P. I just did some thinking and realized once again that Emma and Regina would have been together or it would be no question that they were endgame if one of them was a man soooo genderswap.**

 **Emma will _NOT_ be a man throughout the entirety of the fic. Well it'll be a thing for majority of the fic, but not a 24/7 thing. Genderswap is solely for shenanigans. With that being said, there is G!P so if you're tired of that or if it isn't your cup of tea I'd click away now. Otherwise enjoy and thank ye for reading :)**

 _One frog eyeball, two rabbit feet...at least I think that's what it says, and does that say beaver testicles!?_

Emma cringed as she read the sloppily written ingredients. _Maybe if I down it with some chocolate milk it won't taste so bad._

She began to wonder if drinking such a disgusting potion was worth it. All she wanted was her curiosity sated, but curiosity killed the cat right?

Oh well, what was it that Henry always told her? YOLO? Whatever.

She quickly mixed the ingredients, scooped up a table spoon, and mixed it into her drink of choice as instructed. _Bottoms up._ Emma cringed, chocolate milk did not help. Suddenly feeling nauseous she made a beeline to her bathroom, hunched over the toilet, and the last thing she did before passing out was vomit.

* * *

Ruby strolled up to the door of the house she shared with her long time friend whistling a tune. She had just gotten some Australian beauty's number before her shift ended, and Granny sent a pie home with her to top it all off. Yes, Ruby was having a great day and it was going to become a greater night if her plans to watch Jessica Jones while eating pie went smoothly.

She checked one pocket of her skin tight jeans, then the other, then her purse. She cursed and rolled her eyes realizing she forgot her key, yet again. She began to pound on the door, "Emma! Emma!? I forgot my key again. Can you open the door?"

Getting no response and figuring the blonde was hanging out with Henry she sighed and began searching around for the spare key, praying the blonde placed it back outside knowing her room mate's forgetful behaviour.

Her eyes lit up, feeling the small piece of metal on top of the door frame. She walked into the house and headed into the kitchen, scrunching her face at the terrible smell. Let's hope that whatever she cooked she doesn't plan to feed to Henry and Regina.

She placed the pie on the table, and made her way to the bathroom only to see the door open and the light on. She squinted, a bit irritated, "Did you seriously ignore me when I was knocking? What the fu-"

Ruby paused mid-sentence as she stepped into the bathroom. _Why is there a guy in our bathroom? And why does he have a bra on?_

Either Emma had found a really freaky guy to get it on with, or some more crazy magical stuff had went down. She couldn't conclude which option was the right answer with 100% certainty, but decided to wake the sleeping man up anyway. She gripped a shoulder, and flipped his body and face away from the toilet bowl. She slapped the stranger lightly a few times, "Hey. Hey buddy wake up. I don't know who you are, but vomiting in my toilet isn't cool."

The man batted her hand away and groaned, "Not now, Rubes I feel like shit."

The brunette's eyes widened at the stranger's use of her nick name, "Um…"

Emma stood up and stretched, noting an increase in her height. Chalking it up to her messing up the potion she brushed it off, "When did you get home, Ruby? How was work?"

Ruby's eyes threatened to pop out of her sockets, "Emma?"

The still drowsy blonde, with lids half closed, turned to her friend, "Hmm?"

The waitress stood up and shouted, "Why the hell are you a man!?"

* * *

Ruby leaned back against the kitchen island with her arms crossed, and trying to contain the smirk threatening to make it's way on her face, "So let me get this straight. You tried to make a potion some half wit fairy told you about in order to have a vagina for a week? Well I'd say you screwed that up."

The blonde lifted her (now his?) head to glare at the brunette, "Oh lighten up, Emma. You're a man for a week. A totally hunky man in a town full of women just waiting for some new guy to ogle. Obviously they're in need of a new guy if some closeted drag queen pirate is the current eye candy."

Emma sighed and leaned back against the couch, pinching the bridge of her nose, "Just...please go get Regina. I'm going to take some aspirin, go to sleep, and hope this all is some stupid dream."

The brunette pouted and pushed off from the island, "Fine. You're no fun." She grabbed her purse and made her way to the door, opening it, "But if it is all just a dream maybe we should talk about some feelings you may be repressing hmm?"

She narrowly avoided a pillow cushion.

* * *

Mayor Mills was not a happy woman. Between Snow constantly complaining about the smallest of problems in Storybrooke, David being an incompetent oaf at times, and Henry becoming too engrossed in video games (a shock for her) to focus on school work, it was safe to say that Regina was stressed.

And now she had to deal with some mutt asking what Belle likes to do. _The girl just moves here and she's already trying to sink her claws into her._ She held a hand up signaling Ruby to stop talking, "Was there an actual reason you came to speak with me?"

Ruby nodded her head slowly as if suddenly remembering something, "Oh yeah. Emma um...Emma got into a bit of trouble? Magic trouble."

The short haired woman let out an irritated noise and made her way outside of the office and to her car, Ruby following suit, "Hey tell Emma to call me when she feels better. I'm going out." Regina waved Ruby off and started the ignition.

 _Damn it, Emma._

* * *

Regina whipped out her house key and let herself into the Swan residence. She sent a text to Henry, alerting him that Snow and David would be taking him home, then made her way to Emma's room. She opened the door and promptly woke the blonde up. She was in no mood for pleasantries at the moment, "Ms. Swan wake up." Seeing the blonde open her eyes she continued, "Good. Whatever you took didn't place you in a comatose state. Snow would surely blame me for that. What's wrong? Extra body part? Memory wipe? Illusions? I told you not to do magic, especially alchemy, without supervision. God, you really are David and Snow's child."

Emma blinked away bleary eyes, "What's wrong? What do you mean what's wrong?"

Her eyes widened hearing her voice back to normal, and she headed to her mirror smiling at seeing her old self, "Uh, nothing Regina. I'm sorry Rubes dragged you here. Looks like it wore off."

The brunette already had half her body out of the bedroom door before Emma could finish her sentence, "Great. I expect you by for dinner, and please Emma, no more magic."

The blonde sighed happily, "Definitely no more magic."

* * *

Dinner went well. Regina had prepared some lasagna and seemed to be in a much better mood. Her and Emma had scolded Henry for placing video games as a higher priority than school, and the two had helped him complete his weekend homework so he could still enjoy his time.

The two women were currently lounging on the couch with a glass of wine in each hand, "Emma why don't you stay the night? It's rather late and you and I have consumed quite the amount of alcohol."

The blonde chuckled, "Tough day for the Mayor?"

Regina rolled her neck attempting to get some kinks out, "Extremely tough week."

Emma laughed then stood up and drank the remaining wine in her glass. She patted the Mayor on her shoulder, "I think you're right. I'm gonna turn in for the night. Goodnight, Regina."

The brunette briefly placed a hand over the one of her shoulder and looked up at the other woman with a small smile, "Goodnight, Emma."

* * *

Regina woke up suddenly, hearing a scream. She rushed to Henry's room only to find the boy still asleep. She turned and made her way to the guest bedroom, which was basically Emma's second home now, "Emma? Emma are you alright?"

She definitely didn't expect to see a man in a too tight tank top crying on the bedroom floor.

 **Drop a review if ya liked please :) And you can imagine a genderswapped Emma looking however you'd like, but I see a Joan Puigross. He seems like a decent combination between Charming and Snow**


End file.
